Sports Topics

I just HAVE to maintain some semblance of intelligence, no matter what the conversational topic.

I don’t do sports. I think the whole thing is silly in the extreme – from the rabid behavior of fans to the outrageous salaries to the ridiculous amount of press professional (and notorious college) athletes get.

In fact, I SO don’t do sports that I was completely lost in conversations around the dinner table of my former in-laws. Out of desperation, as a young bride, I asked Skip’s best friend, Rory, for something – anything – universally intelligent and acceptable to say to appear as though I could hold my own in any conversation about sports.

“Laimbeer sucks,” he said.

Armed with this new knowledge, I went to the next dinner at my in-laws’ home. Inevitably, the topic turned to sports.

“Laimbeer sucks,” I offered in a lull in the conversation.

Mom-in-law spewed her wine across the table. Dad-in-law guffawed. Skip looked at me admiringly. I preened.

My stock phrase became the stuff of family legend.

Now, this was about 20 years ago, and I understand that “Laimbeer” has long since retired. So my question to you is, what do I now say when I want to look intelligent during sports conversations?

Last Updated on May 28, 2007 by Anne